Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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