i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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