Non-Jews are for practice
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
