That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
