my sisters under your porch take her home
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
