i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
