so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize
