Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
