if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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