The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
