Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
