White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
No subtext here. People are naked.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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