WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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