'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
We named our party play list daddy issues
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
