Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
