id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Randomize
