What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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