If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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