so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
