I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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