I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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