glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Cover your peen. We're going out.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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