We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
