Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
