Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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