My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize