i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
