Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize