3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
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1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
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You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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