There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Everyone says I win the strip club
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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