I love black thongs
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
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So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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