I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman