And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux