I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
