I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.