...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
