She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me