It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?