you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
