you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
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The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
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Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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