oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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