I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
