he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
