she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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