so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
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I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
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Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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