Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
