I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize