Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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