that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
