Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
