let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
