well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize