My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize