you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Text me some of your sweat
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
