It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
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