So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
