ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
