Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
