i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
