Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
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I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
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BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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