I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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