wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
