I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
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I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
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I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
we should paint friendship bongs
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