2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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